Five Dysfunctional Directives We Can Live Without

All of us “normal” human beings seem to acquire a few key social priorities very early in life. Some of them are positive for our own mental health and well-being – eufunctional – and some are dysfunctional.

These dysfunctional imperatives, or directives, seem to be standardized across all cultures, subcultures, and generations. They soak in very early and, for most people, they remain the key priorities, or “rules of engagement” for the duration of life.

As we progress – if we progress – emotionally, intellectually, socially, and spiritually, we can learn to weaken their hold on us. People who are very highly evolved might even free themselves of these primal reflexes almost completely.

The “Big Five” Directives

The five “biggies” – the major dysfunctional directives – that we can outgrow and learn to live without are:

1. Look good.
2. Play safe.
3. Don’t be wrong.
4. CYA (we all know what that means).
5. Get one up when you can.

Let’s consider them one at a time.

Dysfunctional Directive #1: Look Good. This directive arises from the basic human need to be approved, accepted, and validated by others. The stronger the directive, the more one feels compelled to restrict or limit his or her behavior so as to avoid the disapproval of others. In some cases, it might present as a preoccupation with physical appearance; imitating the style of dress and manners of one’s chosen peer group; being at the right places with the right people; conforming to peer-group practices; and even subordinating one’s needs and interests to those of others.

For most of us, looking good also means not looking bad. Teenagers, for example, typically suffer through a painful phase of trying to earn acceptance, until they begin to establish a stronger sense of self-definition. Paradoxically, the most rebellious teenagers – as seen through the eyes of their parents – typically conform most obediently to the patterns of their peers.

Author and social critic Mark Twain declared, "We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then we go with the drove. We have two opinions: one private, which we are afraid to express; and another one — the one we use — which we force ourselves to wear to please Mrs. Grundy, until habit makes us comfortable in it, and the custom of defending it presently makes us love it, adore it, and forget how pitifully we come by it."

Psychologist Abraham Maslow spoke of “resistance to enculturation,” by which he meant the freedom to make our judgments and choices without being enslaved to cultural norms, habits, patterns, and unwritten rules. We all face the challenge, in our personal lives, of balancing individuality, freedom, and self-expression with the necessity of getting along in the various worlds we occupy.

Dysfunctional Directive #2: Play Safe. This directive arises from the basic human need to protect our ego, or self-identity, from feelings of failure. We tend to avoid situations in which we might not “perform” as well as others, and steer clear of activities that might betray our incompetence. We may avoid activities and behaviors we consider outside of our comfort zone, or our zone of competence, such as singing, dancing, drawing, building things, cooking, or any of a number of skillful pursuits.

Educator and statesman John Gardner said, “Most of us carry around in our heads a whole catalog of things we’re never going to try again, because we once tried them and fell short of our own expectations.” As we get older, he advises, our comfort zones become narrower.

And, we may tend to shy away from saying or doing things we think might meet with scorn or disapproval from others. Probably one reason why creativity and innovation are rather scarce in most cultures is that we’re taught to judge our ideas against the current status quo. We reflexively think, “No one else has suggested this way of doing it. If it were a good idea, wouldn’t someone have already thought of it?” In the Japanese culture, for instance, conformity to group norms is paramount. Japanese have an expression, “The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.”

Idea people, inventors, and innovators often pay a high price for violating the tribal norms of the cultures they inhabit. We all have good ideas and novel approaches from time to time. We need to learn to nurture and develop them until they’re ready for critical scrutiny, and not kill them off immediately because we think somebody might disapprove, disagree, or laugh at them.

Dysfunctional Directive #3: Don’t Be Wrong. Since our early childhood, and particularly in our school years, getting the “right answer” becomes a marker of achievement, success, and approval. It pervades the entire childhood experience of education and development. No wonder most of us have hang-ups about making mistakes, being misinformed or uninformed, and trying to be “savvy.”

People afflicted with the need to be right – or the compulsion to avoid being seen as wrong – may have experienced relentless criticism in their early lives, and typically very little praise. For them, the experience of being wrong brings with it a kind of psychic pain, associated with self-disapproval. So, they often go to great lengths not to admit to themselves or others, that their view or interpretation might be flawed or ill-informed. They might resort to near-comical strategies, such as rationalizing; splitting hairs about facts or evidence; obfuscating the subject; changing the basic point of the argument; or escaping from the debate without allowing a conclusion.

Those so afflicted usually harbor a painful constellation of ideas and emotions related to success and failure. In extremist thinking, not to succeed absolutely means to fail absolutely, and they associate “failure” with self-condemnation. They seldom grasp the notion that success and failure are not aspects of the natural world – they’re evaluations the human mind applies to experience.

The mind-opening discovery that being “right” or “wrong” about a particular question, controversy, or issue has nothing to do with one’s worth as a person can be tremendously liberating. If two people disagree diametrically about a matter that can be settled by evidence, the one whose belief is disconfirmed does not become a bad person for being “wrong.” And the one whose view is supported by the evidence does not become a good person. There is no battle to be won – only a “truth” to be sought. Alignment with the evidence is simply a factual matter, not a personal triumph or failure.

Well-trained scientists learn to keep their opinions, beliefs, and convictions “on probation,” understanding that unfolding experience will always bring new evidence with which they can correct or revise their views. We can all learn from their ways.

Dysfunctional Directive #4: CYA. In the world of work, the term “CYA” – shorthand for “cover your ass,” (or, alternatively, “cover your assets”) – means don’t get blamed for anything that goes wrong.

Blame, shame, and guilt are part of all cultures, some more than others. A person who is exceptionally fearful of getting blamed – again, possibly as a result of constant criticism or condemnation in early life – tends to react anxiously and defensively when things go wrong. They’re usually quick to disavow blame, or rationalize away their own mistakes, or even point the accusing finger at others. In the extreme, they might even lie to avoid the anticipated psychic pain they attach to being accused.

In organizations, particularly bureaucracies, the CYA directive is typically collective, presenting as a general collusion for mediocrity. Formal procedures, review processes, signature cycles, written justifications, and various disclaimers serve the purpose of syndicating responsibility to the organization in general. One of the crippling syndromes of any bureaucracy is the lack of individual accountability: nobody has to swing for his or her mistakes. To individuals or groups afflicted by the CYA directive, not being wrong is more important than being right.

Dysfunctional Directive #5: Get One Up When You Can. One-upping is one of the most common social dynamics in all cultures. It means taking advantage of a situation in which someone has mistakenly said or done something to make himself look incompetent or ineffective, and “rubbing it in.”

Here’s a scenario: your friend has locked her keys in the car, and had to call a road service to come and open the door. Which of the following two things are you most likely to say?

• Option 1: “I’m sorry to hear that. I know how frustrating that can be.”
• Option 2: “Didn’t you keep a spare key hidden somewhere on the car, or nearby?”

Option 1 is the compassionate, empathetic reply. Option 2 is the “gotcha.”

“Gotcha” people typically follow an unconscious directive that says: Whenever you can catch someone in an embarrassing situation, and there’s no risk to your own ego, zing them with a put-down of some type. It comes for free, and – presumably – there’s no harm done. Humorist Jules Pfeiffer referred to these episodes as “life’s little murders.”

One-uppers tend to come in two varieties, the cautious ones and the aggressive ones. The cautious ones usually strike only when the situation presents them with a sure thing. They don’t have to create the situation or set it up in any way; it comes for free. You admit you’ve been gaining weight? He or she starts telling you all about how to lose weight.

The aggressive one-upper, on the other hand, actively looks for – or creates –  opportunities to act and feel superior. You just shared your experience with a great Japanese restaurant, and he tells you about the best one in town. You show her your new condo, and she tells you how you’ve got it decorated all wrong.

But for most of us, that occasional little opportunity is often just too inviting to pass up. A quick one-liner, a roll of the eyes, a condescending gaze – we love ‘em. Some little imp inside us specializes in what the Germans call schadenfreude – enjoyment of another’s misfortune.

Can We Live Without the Dysfunctional Directives?

Letting go of any or all of the Big-Five directives requires finding, inside ourselves, a greater sense of self-love and self-confidence; the courage to embrace being human; a preference for kindness and generosity over competitiveness; and a realization that we can shape the situations we find ourselves in.

The first step in this journey is coming to a mindful awareness of these reflexes and impulses within ourselves. Following from that, we need a continuous, patient, gentle, and self-loving attention to doing things right, as our inner observer helps us know what is right for us.

The Author:

Dr. Karl Albrecht is an executive management consultant, coach, futurist, lecturer, and author of more than 20 books on professional achievement, organizational performance, and business strategy. He is listed as one of the Top 100 Thought Leaders in business on the topic of leadership.

He is a recognized expert on cognitive styles and the development of advanced thinking skills. His books Social Intelligence: The New Science of Success, Practical Intelligence: The Art and Science of Common Sense, and his Mindex Thinking Style Profile are used in business and education.

The Mensa society presented him with its lifetime achievement award, for significant contributions by a member to the understanding of intelligence.

Originally a physicist, and having served as a military intelligence officer and business executive, he now consults, lectures, and writes about whatever he thinks would be fun.

http://KarlAlbrecht.com

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ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

(Heads up:  My phone was having real problems overheating and so I went to the Apple store today and they replaced my phone.  But I hadn’t backed up my stuff to iCloud since December, so I lost all kinds of pictures.  Therefore, this post has old pictures for you to enjoy for the second time around. Thank you, Management)

I have a new parenting project I’m working on right now.  It’s called, “Teaching My Kids to Sit Quietly in Public Without Any Entertainment,” also known as “TMKTSQIPWAE,” also known as “Sit Down and Be Quiet,” also known as “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!”

Here’s my dilemma.  My kids are well behaved juvies.  ‘Tis true.  She are pretty good little boogers, especially when we are out in public.  But here’s the thing:  They are well behaved if they have something to entertain them.  Normally, I make them bring things with them when we go out somewhere.  Notebooks and pencils are a big hit.  So are books of word searches and mazes.  But sometimes, we end up places without these entertainment tools.  In these cases, I often resort to giving them my phone.  Not always, but a lot of the time.  I usually make myself feel better by reminding myself that there are only educational games on my phone, so really they are learning.

But here’s the next thing:  Sometimes, when you are out in public, the learning needs to be social and not academic.  This means my kids need to be learning not just to “be entertained” when we are out, and not even to “be entertained” when they have something entertaining to play with.  What they need to learn is to be content to sit politely for period of time without something entertaining them.

Here’s why:  In my classroom at school, I see all kinds of students – the majority of them, in fact – who are only interested in sitting and learning when someone is doing a massive song and dance for them in the front of the classroom.  But, sometimes, in fact, MOST of the time, there will not be someone there to entertain you.  And you are not there to be entertained.  Therefore, kids need to learn to be polite, present, and patient, even when there is nothing in front of them to keep them happy and engaged.

Cause here’s the biggest thing:  LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS ENGAGING.

(Sorry, kids.)

Now, I have purposefully put off teaching this to my kids until they were this age.  Little kids need to be entertained.  They don’t have the self control to keep themselves quiet for just about any length of time without some assistance.  But my kids have already learned that self control.  They ARE well behaved.  So now, we go to the next level.  Can you be well behaved when the world isn’t revolving around you?

This has been a process.  It began with me not giving them my phone anymore.  Ever.  Sounds so harsh, but it’s true.  I stopped giving them my phone because more times than not, anytime I was giving them my phone, it was just to pacify them through a time of waiting (at the doctor’s office, in the checkout line, etc.).  It was a crutch for me and for them.  So, I changed the rules.  No more phones.  I even deleted their apps from my phone.  How’s that for Mean Mommy?

I’m also starting to limit them on things they can take out with us when we are on the go.  Usually, I still let them bring a notebook and pencil, if I know we’re going to be somewhere for an extended period time (like when we go grocery shopping), but if we are out running errands and are here and there and all over the place, I have them leave their things at home because these are good learning situations.  And not just educational learning, but social learning.  We are working on looking adults in the eyes when they speak to us, responding with loud, clear voices when spoken to, not slouching and rolling around in chairs, and paying attention when Mom is having a conversation with someone else, even if it doesn’t involve the kids.

That last one has been the hardest.  Most of the time, kids check out when the interaction doesn’t directly involve them.  But that’s rude in real life.  Being attentive to the people around you is polite and requires some practice.  So, the kids are learning to pay attention when I’m speaking with someone so that they can politely join the conversation, if asked, and (this is the biggest reason) so they know when it is okay for them to interrupt and when they need to wait.

These are all social norms that come easily to most adults (although, I’m not so sure it’s natural in most adults these days, either…), but they need to be taught to children, and we are making big efforts to teach them this summer.  The kids aren’t great at it yet.  They get frustrated with waiting, they get nervous and look away sometimes when an adult speaks directly to them, and they definitely don’t like the new “no phone” rule.  But to this I say, “SUCK IT UP, SALLY.”  If you’re going to be a polite, decent human being when you grow up, it’s time to start learning to be a polite, decent human being when you’re not grown up yet.

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Jobs With the Highest Suicide Rates

Jobs With the Highest Suicide Rates

Farmers, fishermen and foresters have more than 5 times the average odds, CDC says

WebMD News from HealthDay

By Steven Reinberg

HealthDay Reporter

THURSDAY, June 30, 2016 (HealthDay News) -- Can the type of job you choose affect your risk of suicide? Possibly, according to a new U.S. report that found for certain occupations, the odds of suicide were significantly higher.

From 2000 to 2012, the overall rates of suicide for people aged 16 and older rose 21 percent, the study found. That works out to an approximate increase from 13 to 16 suicides per every 100,000 people in the United States.

But among farmers, fishers and foresters, the suicide rate was dramatically higher -- at 85 suicides per 100,000 people. For males in those jobs, the rate was even greater. Their suicide rate was 90.5 suicides per 100,000, according to the report.

"People working in certain occupations are at greater risk for suicide due to job isolation, a stressful work environment, trouble at work and home, lower income and education, and less access to mental health services," said lead researcher Wendy LiKamWa McIntosh. She's a health scientist at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

"Farmers have additional risk factors like social isolation and unwillingness to seek mental health services," McIntosh said. The report also noted that farmers' exposure to pesticides may affect their neurological system and contribute to depression.

Other occupations that carried significantly higher-than-normal rates of suicide included construction and extraction, with 53 suicides per 100,000; and installation, maintenance and repair with 48 suicides per 100,000, the study found.

For construction workers, the report authors suggested that a lack of steady work, isolation and a fragmented community might play a role in their higher risk. The investigators theorized that people working in installation, maintenance and repair may have long-term exposure to solvents that could damage their neurological systems. That might contribute to memory loss and depression, the researchers suggested.

Men working in fishing, forestry or farming had the highest rates of suicide for their gender.

Among women, the highest rate was seen in those working in protective services, such as policing and firefighting. Their rate was 14 per 100,000. Men in the protective services field had a suicide rate of 34 per 100,000, the report noted.

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All The Girl Questions!

Hello! Last week I asked for your girl / personal  questions for a post. I’m working with Always to address some of these usually off limits topics. Working out, your period, hormones, pregnancy and other activities can all effect how you feel. It’s stuff all ladies deal with so we should talk about it, right? I am a super open book for most things – girl questions included. But I haven’t wanted to do a whole post on it because I didn’t want to alienate the guys in the crowd.

Well, boys you’ve been warned – skip to tomorrow where I’ll be eating donuts and raving about the SoCal weather per usual.

 

The call for questions had a great response! So in order to keep this post from turning into a novel I’m going to dive right in…

Note: There are a few questions that I don’t have experience with – if you do please chime in below to help out fellow RER readers. Thank you!

 

Your female Questions About Running:

Q: My biggest area that I chafe is my lady parts on long runs! Any advice? I’ve tried undies, no undies, and Body Glided everywhere with zero luck.

A: The first thing I do when I have a chafing issue is change my clothes whether it be shorts or a sports bra or top. Having a piece of gear that you’re pulling at or adjusting or that just rubs you the wrong way is the worst. I’d change up my underwear, shorts or capris (or whatever you’re wearing) first. Buy another style or cut or size or fabric to eliminate the chafe before slathering on glide to keep the rubbing to a minimum.

This might mean switching from shorts with built in liner/underwear to compression style or vice-versa. Switch it up and see if that helps.

Tip: There is underwear made specifically for working out now. They are very thin and made from breathable fabric. Try that (along with maybe a new pair of shorts or capris) and see if it helps.

I haven’t had an issue with chafing in this area but have had this same question from a few readers. One reader specifically said this only happens in the winter to her so it might be what she’s wearing in winter vs. summer?

*RER Readers – Can you chime in to help on this one?

 

 

Q: As a newer runner I have honestly struggled with starting my period during two half marathons. I must have the worst planning. Do you always carry something with you or am I the crazy woman that needs to bring something with me each run. Also, do you have a preferred brand that doesn’t feel like it is “falling out” when running. (Am I really asking that?) But yes, that is my biggest issue when running because as soon as I feel it I know it is going to be an AWFUL run.

A: Do you keep track of your period? Is it super irregular? I use an app to keep track – it’s not 100% accurate but has been helpful to have a rough idea of when it’s about to start a few days out. It’s called Period App, but I know there are a lot of options out there.

When I first started using the app I did have a few surprises – it sucks!! I try to keep at least one tampon in my purse in case of emergencies but honestly I would hate to have one with me on runs when I didn’t really need it.

I use tampons. They are ones that don’t have an applicator and are super tiny so it’s easy to keep it with you on a run. They expand and really don’t budge once they’re up there. Fair warning – You need to be comfortable pushing it in without an applicator but I think everyone should be comfortable and familiar with this even if it takes some practice.  I’ve been using them since I was a teenager and really am happy with them.

You can also use a liner like the Always Dailies. They’re super thin you can probably tuck one in the key pocket of your shorts in case of emergencies and then swap it for a pad or tampon when you get home.

 

Q: My cramps have ruined training days or races for me before. Do you have any strategies for dealing with cramps and hard racing/training days?

A: Ugh. This sucks! When I have cramps I take Ibuprofen and try to stretch more. My cramps are usually lower back / upper leg area and it’s the worst for running. I focus on lower back and upper leg stretches to help relax the area.

I would also suggest being open to changing hard run days during my period if that works with your schedule. I know you can’t change a race day, but as soon as you realize it’s a period week I would suggest looking at your training schedule and maybe switching around days so you aren’t doing your hardest days on the days with the worst cramps.

Then, you can rest on the ‘worst’ day of your period and complain to your cat like I do.

Q: Hi Monica, I’m a regular reader of your blog! I have noticed a few things regarding my period when it comes to running, and I’m not sure if I’m alone on this, so here we go:
1. I have way less energy when I run the days before my period, it sucks if race day is one of those days
2. I also have way more IBD episodes during those days before my period, and usually have to stop mid-run for a bathroom break, even on short distances
3. As soon as I get my period, I have instantly more energy, yay!
4. Chaffing down there during long runs when you are using a pad, like, how do you avoid it? :/
Sorry if I just threw TMI at you. Am I “normal”? Please send help!

A:  Hi! I don’t know if you’re normal as a person (because I’m probably not), but I think your questions are super normal.

1. Yeah, periods can be a huge energy suck – I vote you get more rest. Consider more sleep or a nap or a meditation session to give your body some time to recharge.

2. I can’t speak to this in terms of IBD but I know my stomach tends to get upset around the start of my period. Boo.

*RER Readers – anyone with IBD issues have it worse during ‘time of month’? Thoughts on how to deal?

3. We should start a “post period party” tradition to celebrate more energy! I guess that’s the one good thing about feeling crappy during your period – after it’s great!

4. You might want to consider a super thin pad or switching to tampons for long runs. There are a lot of super thin pad options you could try for when you’re running and then use something else before/after.

The skin in that area is the most sensitive on our body so it’s important to try and prevent chafing in the first place.  You might have to do some trial and error with underwear and pads that stay together and don’t move around and rub.

If you’re not super comfortable wearing tampons all the time maybe just when you’re running could help prevent the chafing and then you can wear a pad for the rest of the day.

Q: Have you had any experience with losing your period while training?

While I haven’t lost much weight (128 lbs and 5’4” currently) I have not had my period since January and kept my mileage at a steady 60 miles per week training for ultras. I think I eat enough calories and do pretty well tracking it all – but being 4 months with no Aunt Flo is a little scary!

A: I haven’t lost my period while training but I’m sure there are some readers who have dealt with this or similar problems. Maybe someone will chime in on the comments.

I encourage you talk to a sports dietician about it since losing your period can impact overall health and fertility and that’s not something to mess with long term. Even if you think you’re getting  enough calories your body might need more or training is impacting you in some other way or it might not be related to running and is something you should check out with a physician.

*RER Readers – can you help? Have you lost your period? How do you make sure you stay on regular cycles while training?

 

Q: I have a Diva Cup and used to love it. For running, though, I find it falls out a bit (TMI?). I end up feeling it “down there” and it is really uncomfortable when I run. As such, I started using pads again. The only thing is, I get all sweaty and gross everywhere when I run, so I end up feeling extra gross “down there” when wearing a pad during a run.

I am not a tampon person, but I’d be willing to try it again.

All of this is to ask what you use for protection when you run during your period?

A: I use tampons and I really love them. The ones I use are super tiny in the package because they don’t have an applicator. Someone who is already using a Diva Cup should have no problem switching to this. Maybe you can try to use a tampon just for running and the cup when you’re not running?

Or you can try a pad made specifically for working out? Always has an Active Pad for this.

Q: How do you deal with bloat and avoid that ‘fat feeling’ when you logically know it’s just your body doing its thing? Asking for a friend…. JK it’s for me and my own neuroses.

A: I usually deal with bloat and feeling fat by eating a ton of chocolate and feeling sorry for myself. Ha!

But if I’m trying to actually feel better about it I take a walk – for some reason this helps bloat for me.

If I feel gross and bloated I also make sure to wear something that either makes me feel better or ‘hide’ it so I don’t feel self conscious on top of feeling fat. I don’t want to set myself up for feeling even worse by trying to wear something that is tight on my belly or calls attention to an area that feels crappy right then.

 

Always sponsored this post to get us talking about keeping a healthy balance in working out and staying fresh and being comfortable talking about it. If you have additional questions or want to chime in on some of the questions above please do!

You can get more information on the Always Dailies and Feminine Wipes at those links.

Question: Can you chime in on some of the above questions?

Who’s down for a post-period party? Or any party? I don’t have any plans for this weekend…

Disclaimer: This post is in partnership with Always. All opinions are my own.

The post All The Girl Questions! appeared first on Run Eat Repeat.

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Recipe: Fuzzy Navel Wine Cooler — Wine Coolers Are Cool Again

It’s time to give the classic wine cooler an at-home update, and it doesn’t need any bizarre ingredients or neon coloring agents. Like the original, this remake delivers sweet, ripe peach flavors accented by a dash of fresh orange. As it turns out, peach schnapps and OJ are the PB&J of the drinks industry.

First Came Screwdrivers, Next Came Fuzzy Navels

Unlike some wine spritzers, the Fuzzy Navel has a true history in bars and homes across America. While spritzy bottled wine coolers might jump to mind, the Fuzzy Navel began as a low-octane version of America’s original brunch drink, the Screwdriver, by substituting peach schnapps for vodka. Sweet peach and fresh orange thus got their start as the one-two punch of cocktail culture, a role that’s continued to exist because it’s just so damn refreshing.

Made popular in the 1980s, in part thanks to a growing cocktail culture and Tom Cruise as a bartender, the combination of the peach and orange drinks have been unstoppable. Endless variations have developed, all tweaks on the thirst-quenching duo that modify the Fuzzy Navel’s alcoholic strength — adding bubbles, or shifting sweetness levels.

Our recipe was inspired by the neon, bubbly, 3.2 percent alcohol bottled versions, which smell like peach candy and taste just as sweet. Despite normally leaning toward herbal and bitter cocktails, I literally couldn’t stop drinking these. Sweet and supremely refreshing, this simple wine cooler is perfect for sunny days by the pool or grill. Plus, its low alcohol content means you can drink them all day without falling over or telling that embarrassing story … again.

When making spritzers, which are extraordinarily simple, it’s important to remember to stir the ingredients well both before and after adding their carbonated elements. Sans stirring, the beverages end up a confusing mix of bland bubbles and syrupy schnapps instead of the perfect balance of sweetness and sparkles.

Fuzzy Navel Wine Cooler

Serves 1

Ice
4 ounces dry white wine, such as Sauvignon Blanc or Albariño
1 ounce orange juice
1/2 ounce peach schnapps
1/4 ounce lemon juice
2 ounces club soda
Peach slices, for garnish

Fill a tall glass with ice. Add the white wine, orange juice, peach schnapps, and lemon juice and stir to combine. Top with the club soda, garnish with peach slices, and serve immediately.

Recipe Notes

• Chilling: If you can, chill the wine, orange juice, and club soda before making the wine cooler.
• Variation: If you prefer a sweeter version, simply sub lemon-lime soda for the club soda.

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20 Items You Should Get Rid of Immediately — Apartment Therapy

If you're anything like me, de-cluttering is downright exhilarating. But knowing where to start can be a major mental roadblock. If you've got the urge to get some stuff out of the house, start with this list of items you can say goodbye to right now with little thought and no impunity.

1. Expired coupons. I like to put coupons I might use in Evernote, with a "delete" tag and deadline reminder so I can eliminate this paper clutter altogether. Read more here.

2. Old magazines. If you're keeping them to look back at later, you won't. If you're keeping them for your kids to use for collages, keep three, max.

3. Expired pantry items (canned goods, spices, etc.). Check your local food bank for donation guidelines.

4. Old clothes. Check out Why Keeping Only the Clothes that "Spark Joy" is Magical.

5. Old/extra/excessive wrapping paper and supplies. If your stash tends to grow and sit, paring it down leaves you with less decision fatigue when it's time to wrap.

6. Excessive plastic and paper bags. They'll multiply again, trust me.

7. Broken things you've been meaning to repair. Take that pressure off yourself and breathe easier.

8. Old/extra/stained/torn linens. Chances are you never reach for those anyway.

9. Chipped dishes and mugs. They're fung shui energy stealers.

10. DVDs you know you'll never watch again. You won't waste your time on them; don't waste space on them either.

11. Duplicate kitchen tools. Keep only the ones you reach for when you have a choice.

12. Accessories you haven't worn in a year or more. It means you don't actually like them.

13. Take-out menus. They're all online. Free up that junk drawer real estate.

14. Extra boxes and empty storage containers. Professional organizers say you should buy containers specifically for what you know you need to store, not the other way around.

15. Refills for items you no longer use. Examples include regular light bulbs after you've switched to LEDs, coffee filters for a pot you no longer own or use, or toothbrush head replacements for an electric toothbrush that kicked the bucket a long time ago.

16. Expired or compromised bike helmets. The American Academy of Pediatrics states that helmets should be replaced every five years or if they have been involved in any impact.

17. Expired medication. Use these guidelines for proper disposal.

18. Expired cosmetics. Components separate, ingredients lose their effectiveness, and fragrances can turn rancid. Don't put them on your body.

19. Old cell phones. Check out HopeLine, Cell Phones for Soldiers, and the FTC's guidelines for making sure your personal information is wiped clean.

20. Books that don't move you or that you haven't used for reference in three or more years. Editing your collection leaves you with an autobiographical shelf that's a distilled literary portrait of you — and makes room for new favorites.

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Love and the stress of summer travel

It’s summer time! That means warm weather, sunny days, barbeques and, for many of us, the summer vacation. Summer vacations represent breaks from our everyday; chances to unplug and relax by leaving our normal lives behind us for a week or two. This year, millions of travelers will take to the air, water, and roads with their family, friends, and romantic partners in the hopes of unwinding.

However, travel can be a stressful experience. I know that I have had some pretty intense arguments with my loved ones in the wake of the sleep deprivation, time pressure, and uncontrollable circumstances (cancelled flights anyone?) that come with travel. For this months’ post, I wanted to explore some of the ways that minor stressful events, such as vacation travel, can have on our romantic relationships.

Stress, in general, can have a really negative influence on our romantic relationships – even when that stress is unrelated to the relationship itself. This is something called “stress spillover.” (e.g., Neff & Karney, 2009; Neff, 2012). Stress spillover occurs when stressors outside of a romantic relationship, such as job pressure, money concerns, or family demands, predict reductions in individuals’ feelings of satisfaction in their relationship. Neff and other researchers have demonstrated that such stressful experiences can predict romantic partners - spouses in most research – being less responsive to each other, communicating less effectively, and even being less forgiving of their partner’s mistakes and transgressions (see Neff, 2012 or Karney & Neff, 2013 for a review). Over time, these unpleasant patterns can erode relationship happiness and predict an increased risk of the relationship ending.

However, Neff and Broady (2011) have begun to investigate the POSITIVE effects that stress can have on romantic couples. Specifically, they’ve tested the idea that encountering small stressors over time, like the stress that goes hand in hand with travel, can actually have a protective effect on relationships. The idea is basically that practice makes perfect. If a couple comes up against small stressors early in their relationships, they can learn and practice the coping skills to handle stress in general without it negatively impacting their relationship. Then, when bigger stressors come along, the couple is better prepared to deal with those situations. Thus, their relationships don’t take as hard of a hit when more serious issues arise.

Just as a brief aside, this idea of smaller stressors enhancing resilience has also been applied to individuals as well as relationships. Similarly, practice with small stressors is important for building one’s individual coping resources and is associated with greater resilience when faced with more significant challenges (see Neff & Broady, 2011 for a review).

This stress resilience model would suggest, then, that taking on the stress of summer travel with your honey could actually benefit your relationship later, as well as you as a person. So go on, book that beach trip!

Karney, B R., & Neff, L. A. (2013). Couples and stress: How demands outside a relationship affect intimacy within the relationship. In J. A. Simpson & L. Campbell (Eds.). The Oxford Handbook of Close Relationships (pp. 664-684). Oxford University Press.

Neff, L. A. (2012).  Putting marriage in its context: The influence of external stress on early marital development.  In L. Campbell & T. J. Loving (Eds.), Interdisciplinary Research on Close Relationships: The Case for Integration (pp. 179-203). Washington, DC, US: American Psychological Association. 

Neff, L.A., & Broady, E. (2011). Stress resilience in early marriage: Can practice make perfect? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101(5), 1050-1067.

Neff, L.A., & Karney, B. R. (2009). Stress and reactivity to daily relationship experiences: How stress hinders adaptive processes in marriage. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 97, 435-450.

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Who Are The Loneliest?

Source: Thomas Leuthard/Flickr

If you look at current news articles about loneliness, you would find a lot of them are concerned about loneliness among the elderly (see for example this article or this one). It is certainly a great cause of concern given the rather detrimental health effects that chronic loneliness can have, including an increased risk of mortality (e.g. loneliness can increase early death by 26%). However, has the increased focus on loneliness among the elderly taken away focus from other groups of individuals that may also be experiencing high levels of loneliness as well?

Recent research published by Maike Luhmann and Louise Hawkley explore how loneliness is distributed across the lifecycle from late adolescence to old age. They got their data from a large, nationally representative sample of Germans (N = 16,132). Here are some of their findings:

The oldest old and young adults were the loneliest

As one would expect, the oldest old (defined as being over 80) were the loneliest.

Source: Tomwsulcer/Wikipedia

However, coming in second place were young adults around the age of 30. There was also another spike in loneliness around age 60. There were two dips in loneliness around the ages of 40 and 75 years old. This nonlinear progression of loneliness across different ages suggests that at different points in the lifespan, a person may become more susceptible to loneliness. Among the oldest old, what contributed significantly to feelings of loneliness were the absence of a significant attachment figure and the presence of functional limitations. When the researchers controlled for those covariates, the levels of loneliness dropped drastically for the oldest old, but not for other age groups. It was unclear from this study why other age groups (at ages 30 and 60) experienced these spikes in loneliness.

This leaves open the question, why are young adults experiencing these increased levels of loneliness? In addition, what can we do to help these individuals feel less lonely?

The higher your income, the less lonely you are

Researchers found that income was negatively associated with the strength of loneliness. Thus, the higher the income, the less one has feelings of loneliness. This was true, even when they controlled for covariates such as work status, relationship status, living arrangements, etc. Income had a unique association with loneliness beyond other factors such as the type of job they had, whether they were single or with a partner, how many people were in their household, etc. This relationship between income and loneliness though, varied across different ages. The relationship was the strongest for middle-aged participants as compared to participants who were younger and older. The researchers argued perhaps it was because money played a greater role in middle-aged adults, or because it is easier for younger and older adults to socialize in ways that were not dependent on money.

The more friends you had, the more contact you had with others, and being in a relationship were related to being less lonely

The last set of findings was not as surprising. Having fewer friends, having less contact with others and being single were all related to being lonelier. These relationships held true even when the researchers controlled for other factors and looked at the distribution across different ages. One interesting variation though was that more face-to-face contact was related to less loneliness but more online contact was related to greater loneliness.

I often describe loneliness as the same emotion with many different causes. The age of a person clearly plays a role in how a person experiences their loneliness. While we have some understanding of the elderly’s experience of loneliness and way of intervening, things become less clear with young adults who experience relatively high levels of loneliness as well. And while obvious factors such as having more friends and being in a relationship make you less lonely, it is less clear why having a higher income would also make you less lonely as well.

Reference: Luhmann, R. & Hawkley, L.C. (2016). Age differences in loneliness from late adolescence to oldest old age. Developmental Psychology, 52(6), 943-959.

Find out more on loneliness here.

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Clinics Selling Unapproved Stem Cell 'Therapies'

Hundreds of U.S. Clinics Sell Unapproved Stem Cell 'Therapies'

Study identifies hot spots around the country

HealthDay – Not on Site

By Amy Norton

HealthDay Reporter

THURSDAY, June 30, 2016 (HealthDay News) -- Hundreds of clinics across the United States are marketing unapproved stem cell treatments for conditions ranging from aging skin to spinal cord injuries, a new study finds.

In an online search, researchers found at least 570 clinics offering unapproved stem cell "therapies." They tend to be concentrated in a handful of states -- including Arizona, California, Colorado, Florida, New York and Texas -- but are scattered across many other states, too.

Most often, the clinics market stem cell procedures for orthopedic conditions, such as arthritis and injured ligaments and tendons. This does have science behind it, but is still experimental, medical experts said.

In other cases with little or no supporting evidence, clinics hawked stem cell "facelifts" and therapies for serious conditions such as chronic lung disease, Parkinson's disease and multiple sclerosis.

If these pricey stem cell treatments are unproven and unapproved by federal regulators, how can these clinics exist?

"I ask myself that question all the time," said Leigh Turner, a bioethicist who worked on the study.

Turner, an associate professor at the University of Minnesota's Center for Bioethics, said attention used to focus on "stem cell tourism" -- where people travel to countries such as China, India and Mexico to get unproven treatments.

"I think there's a misperception that everything here [in the U.S.] is regulated," Turner said. "But these clinics are operating here, and on a relatively large scale."

Stem cells are primitive cells with the potential to mature into various types of body tissue. Medical researchers have been studying the possibility of using stem cells to repair damaged tissue in a range of chronic ills -- with limited success so far.

But the general public has heard about the "promise" of stem cells for years, and it can be easy to be taken in by clinics' marketing tactics, Turner said.

Websites can, for instance, link to published medical studies that make their therapies seem legitimate, Turner said. "These businesses can be quite savvy," he said. "I think it's asking too much to just tell consumers to be wary. We need to be asking, why should these clinics be allowed to do this?"

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Back in the game with Old Navy

This summer, I am back in the game. It feels like I really had a year and a half off limitations, since I was pregnant (and was advised to ditch the impact workouts to resolve a pregnancy-related complication) and my surgeries following the birth. I was able to implement bits and pieces of my *normal* fitness routine while I was pregnant and recovering, but haven’t felt free rein of the gym quite a while. While recovery and healing is so important, it can be hard to get back into your routine afterwards because… it’s no longer a routine. The habits you set in place are no longer there (oh hi, couch time and wine instead of nights teaching fitness classes) and you have to create new ones. In many ways it feels like starting over completely, and while it can be a little bit intimidating, that excited feeling of a fresh start is invigorating.

I teamed up with Old Navy to create a fitness goal this summer, and mine is simple: consistency. Finding the balance of my old healthy habits, and making consistent steps each day to be active. A huge component of this is strength training. It seems like it’s the easiest one to fall off the radar -especially when I depend on cardio for mental clarity and stress release- and also something that gives me significant results in strength and fitness gains.

This summer I will strength train 3x a week. 

Will you join me?!

We have Summer Shape Up starting NEXT week, and I also created the workout plan below if you’re just getting back (or started!) in the fitness game.

Here are some of my tips as you start to work towards consistent training and re-establish healthy, active habits.

Walk, then run. If you’re usually a runner, experiment with walking first to build up your cardio base. From there, you can start to add in running intervals. Start off with 30 seconds of running and 1-2 minutes of walking. Decrease your walking time and increase your running time gradually, until you’re able to maintain a steady run.

Stretch! Researched is mixed on stretching, but I find that it feels good, particularly after a tough workout.

Also, if it helps to reduce muscle soreness, it’s worth it! Take some time to breathe and stretch if you find that you enjoy it and it works for you.

Ditch the jumping. If you’re doing a workout that calls for explosive movements, and you haven’t done that in a while, you can still perform the movement while keeping your feet on the ground. See how you can modify your favorite plyo exercises to keep one foot on the ground at all times. 

 

Start with lighter weights than your usual set. You can always go heavier! I find that when I’m getting back into it after a hiatus, ALL weights make me feel sore. 😉 So I start with super light weights to get used to the movements again -muscles have amazing memories!- and build up from there.

 

(Wearing “Gym Hair, Don’t Care” graphic tank, Go-Dry Printed run short, Go-Dry seamless light support bra. I wore this outfit to teach spin and loved the lightweight and wicking material.)

Here is a workout I created for those who might also be getting back in the game, or getting started on your fitness journey. As always, talk with a doctor before making any fitness changes and honor your body. Modify as needed. 

 

(Wearing the Go-Dry Fitted Performance seamless tank, Go-Dry strappy cami light support sports bra, and the Go-Dry High Rise Stripe Compression crop. The tank is made of luxe tech material and is very light, and I loved the flattering higher waistband of the crops with gentle compression. This outfit was perfect for a sweaty barre class.)

So tell me, friends: what fitness goal are you working towards this summer? Who’s joining me for 3x a week strength training?

xoxo

Gina

This post was sponsored by Old Navy. Thank you so much for supporting this blog! I truly appreciate it. <3

Photos by Henry Young

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5 Tips for Easing a Person’s Defensiveness

I was experiencing a minor catastrophe. My garage door wouldn’t open. I couldn’t open it manually so my car was stuck inside. I was hoping to drive it to the airport the next morning.

The garage door repairman called to say they could fix it in the morning. I asked if there were any chance they could come out that day. He said there was a slight possibility a cancellation could come in. I said, “Put me on the list for a cancellation. If you can’t get here today, I will have to cancel the order.”

He sharply replied, “Fine. Cancel the order.”

After I caught my breath, I said, “I didn’t mean it as a threat, I meant it as a fact. I’m leaving town tomorrow so I won’t be here if you show up then.”

He mumbled something about not counting on them being at my house today and I needed to let them know by this afternoon if I didn’t want them to come tomorrow.  He then hung up.  

An hour later, he called to tell me they would be out later that morning since someone else had cancelled.

Source: Gino Santa Maria/AdobeStock

Acting defensively is a common human behavior. The brain’s primary function is to protect. When talking to people, if they feel psychologically safe with you, you might be able to have a rational conversation with them. If their brain detects a possible threat, it will trigger a protective response. They will either shut down or launch a counterattack.

In most conversations, a person’s defensive reaction has little to do with your intention.

If the person you are speaking with reacts defensively to your well-meant words, consider these tips when formulating your response:

1. Don’t say, “Don’t take it personally” or “don’t be so defensive.” You will fortify the person’s reactions. Tell the person you are sorry for the misunderstanding, but that your intention was meant to help or give information (if that was true for you).
2. Try to understand why the person’s brain interpreted your words as a threat. Could the person have interpreted your words as criticism or judgment? Could the person have thought you were a threatening to take an action that would hurt him or her? Acknowledge that you see how important the topic is to the person, and explain what you meant instead.
3. Apologize, or at least admit you don’t always express yourself well and you would like to try again. This doesn’t mean you were wrong. Your humility will soften their defensiveness.
4. Catch your own emotional reaction. You might find their defensiveness triggers you to feel angry or fearful as your brain takes on a counter-protective stance. If your breathing quickens or stops, take a deep breath into your abdomen. Then count to four to yourself as you let the breath out. As your brain settles down, choose to be curious about why the person reacted to you so aggressively.
5. Give the person space to breath. Taking a breath will not only help you center yourself, you give the person a chance to calm down as well. The person might keep talking, but he or she just might take a breath as well. Give the person a chance to think about what to say next.

No matter who is at fault for triggering fear or anger when conversing, you have the ability to ease the tension and refocus on achieving a desired result together. Practice these five tips for easing a person’s defensiveness so you can move your conversation forward.

Find more tips for shifting negativity into positive results in The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations into Breakthroughs.

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How I Decluttered My Kitchen Junk Drawer — Before & After

I don’t believe in junk drawers. It’s not that I don’t believe they exist — they’re a fixture in something like 99 percent of American homes — I just don’t believe they’re necessary. Every drawer should have a reason for being. A junk drawer is just waiting to find its true calling.

So, it’s a little embarrassing to admit that I have a junk drawer in my kitchen. To find a vegetable peeler, I have to sift through tangles of whisk wires and food processor cords. I’ve been telling myself that it’s just in need of a little organizing, but the truth is this drawer's a dump. Here’s how I decluttered my delusions and gave this drawer back its sense of purpose.

Why You Don't Need a Junk Drawer

First: Why, despite my obvious struggle with the junk drawer, do I insist it's not necessary? Because it's procrastination in physical form. Junk drawers become necessary when we can't find the time to put things in their proper place. Which is silly because, if I added up all the time I've spent searching for my garlic press or detangling the potato masher, it would be a lot. And it only took me about 30 minutes to declutter my junk drawer. I can guarantee I'd have saved time by decluttering this drawer months ago.

How I Decluttered the Junk Drawer

• I took everything out and organized it on my kitchen table. Seeing it all made it easier to sort.
• I cleaned the inside of the drawer with warm water and dish soap, then put some cedar oil on a dry rag and rubbed it into the wood to sanitize the drawer and make it smell good.
• I divided my stuff into three groups: toss or give away, relocate to another place, and keep.

I cleaned the inside of the drawer with soap and water, then rubbed some cedar oil in with a dry rag to make it smell good.

• The "toss/giveaway" pile contained things I never use, like a pizza cutter (I actually made pizza the night before and despite owning a pizza cutter, I used a knife to slice it) and a cocktail spoon, plus a broken ramekin handle and some random plastic pieces. I don't even know what they were.
• The "relocate" pile contained handwritten recipes, a sushi mat, a sponge, and attachments for our food processor, which I moved to a drawer with the rest of the food processor pieces.
• The "keep" pile included everything else: all kitchen tools, like my hand-juicer, baster, vegetable peeler, garlic press, whisk, etc.
• Using my three DIY cigar-box drawer organizers, I sorted everything by size and put it all back.

Now I can easily see everything. No more fumbling for my vegetable peeler!

Tip: I don't believe in buying things for organizing, but rather looking around to see what you already own that can help you hold your stuff. My dad is a cigar-smoker and gives me his old wooden cigar boxes, which I repurpose as drawer dividers. You can also use things like bread pans or muffin tins to help sort drawers. If all else fails, go to the Container Store, but make sure you've done your decluttering and sorting first.

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This Is Physicist Sean Carroll's Favorite Pint of Ice Cream — My Favorite Pint

Sean Carroll is a theoretical physics teacher at Caltech where he specializes in dark matter and general relativity. His latest book, The Big Picture: On the Origins of Life, Meaning, and the Universe Itself, has garnered much success, including being a New York Times bestseller. In his spare time, Carroll prioritizes a good scoop of ice cream, which he eloquently describes as "nature's most perfect food." Coming from a cosmologist, you know this means something.

(Image credit: Jennifer Ouellette)

Toscanini's is a Boston treasure. First of all, the texture of all of their pints is unparalleled. The vanilla ice cream is the fluffiest, most cloud-like texture I've ever had. This burnt caramel flavor, however, stands out amongst the rest. It's like no other caramel ice cream I've ever had. It tastes similar to a burnt, smoky marshmallow.

Here's what Sean Carroll has to say about his favorite pint.

In my view, ice cream is nature's most perfect food. I have high standards, and my favorite is the Burnt Caramel ice cream at Toscanini's in Cambridge, Massachusetts. It's richly flavorful and creamy without being overly complicated or gimmicky. I love it so much that when I moved to California I learned to make ice cream myself, just so I could approximate the real thing.

My Favorite Pint: Want to get adventurous in the ice cream aisle this summer? We have your back. This month we asked 25 creative people to share their favorite pint of ice cream with us.

More posts in My Favorite Pint

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This Disorder Significantly Boosts Heart Risks

This Disorder Significantly Boosts Heart Risks

Untreated, the condition also makes arteries age decades faster, study reports

WebMD News from HealthDay

By Robert Preidt

HealthDay Reporter

THURSDAY, June 30, 2016 (HealthDay News) -- People who inherit a genetic disorder that causes high levels of "bad" LDL cholesterol have an increased risk for heart disease and hardened arteries, a new study finds.

The condition is called heterozygous familial hypercholesterolemia. It's believed to affect about 1.5 million people in the United States, the researchers said.

The genes linked to this condition prevent the liver from removing LDL (low-density lipoprotein) cholesterol from the blood. This allows the bad cholesterol to build up. Doctors suspect this familial condition when LDL levels are above 190 milligrams per deciliter (mg/dL), the study authors explained.

The researchers reviewed data from six groups of people involved in previous studies. Compared to people with average LDL cholesterol levels (less than 130 mg/dL), those with familial hypercholesterolemia had a five times higher risk for heart disease.

Those with genetically inherited high cholesterol were also more likely to have diseases caused by hardening of the arteries, including earlier development of heart disease -- up to 20 years earlier in men and 30 years earlier in women, the research revealed.

Even when the researchers included other risk factors for heart disease in their analysis, the risks were still higher for those with the genetic cholesterol disorder.

The findings may help doctors explain the risks of familial hypercholesterolemia more clearly to patients. That's important because the disorder can be treated with cholesterol-lowering drugs to decrease the risks for coronary heart disease and stroke, the investigators said.

"Clinician-patient discussions about guideline-supported therapies can be informed by this data," according to the study authors, who were led by Dr. Donald Lloyd-Jones at Northwestern University in Chicago.

Using the data, doctors could present certain scenarios to their patients. For example: if a 25-year-old woman with newly diagnosed familial hypercholesterolemia leaves her cholesterol untreated, her risk of coronary heart disease death or nonfatal heart attack would be comparable to that of a 55-year-old woman, the researchers said.

"Such an analogy, paired with counseling about how to improve risk, may motivate behavioral changes as well as adoption of and adherence to evidence-based medications," the study authors said.

The findings were published June 29 in the journal Circulation.

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FDA Says 'No' to Eating Raw Cookie Dough

Kitchen to Cone: 3 Ice Cream Makers Explain How an Ice Cream Flavor Is Born — Global Ice Cream Social

We'll always have a soft spot for the ice creams of yore. Artificially green mint ice cream? Count us in! But today's flavors are taking this classic treat to new levels. It's safe to say there's never been a more exciting time for ice cream.

While some flavors are more successful than others — we tried that jet-black ice cream and found it wanting — even when a scoop disappoints, there's something to be said for the creativity that goes into the making.

To better understand how an ice cream flavor is born, we talked with three ice cream makers: Jeni Britton Bauer of Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams, Shiho Yoshikawa of Sweet Rose Creamery, and Tyler Malek of Salt & Straw.

Fresh Mint Chip from Sweet Rose Creamery

(Image credit: Courtesy of Sweet Rose Creamery)

Food for Thought: The Farmers Market

You'd probably expect that ice cream makers take inspiration from the greater food world — and they do. For Shiho Yoshikawa, it's often the Santa Monica farmers market that gets her creative juices flowing.

It either begins with an ingredient or an idea: What's tasting great and visually stunning at the market? It could also be an herb or seasoning, or how the combination works together. For example, I was purchasing fresh pistachios from a farmer and was having a conversation on how pretty the husks were. She told me that they make pistachio husk marmalade in the Middle East. So, I made my own version of the husk marmalade, then salt-roasted the fresh pistachios and mixed them into the ice cream.

Askinosie Dark Milk Chocolate from Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams

(Image credit: Courtesy of Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams)

Art Begets Emotion Begets Flavor

For Jeni Britton Bauer, there's always an ice cream that's completely inspired by an ingredient, but there are other factors that come into play as well.

There are also some flavors — or more — that are inspired by pop culture, art, music, color — just whatever else. It could be a book or a movie, which becomes an emotion, and that becomes scent, and then flavor. Last year, we did a color collection.

In November 2014, I went to MOMA’s big exhibition. I love Matisse, so I thought it would be very familiar to me, but when I got there, I didn’t realize that the colors are so rich and matte — they’re completely shine-free. I started feeling like I could taste them. So when I got back, I made them into ice cream.

From Salt & Straw's June Flavors: Fish Sauce Caramel

(Image credit: Courtesy of Salt & Straw)

A Top-Down Approach: Ice Cream Themes

For most of these ice cream makers, flavors don't live in a void; they're part of a collection, a greater theme. Earlier this year, for example, Salt & Straw launched a fermentation series. Tyler Malek describes how this came about.

Typically, to create a flavor we first start out with a theme for the month. That’s driven by what’s going on in the city, both from a food perspective and also from an arts perspective; it's what’s important to the community around us.

For fermentation, the goal was to create a theme that would push us from a culinary perspective, and really force us to think outside the box in how we create flavors in cream. Being aware of what’s really important in the food community here in Portland, fermentation just seemed an obvious option.

Tyler Malek of Salt & Straw

(Image credit: Leela Cyd)

Next Steps: Research and Testing

Once the makers have their idea, the next step is research and testing. All of the ice cream makers we talked to make their own mix, which allows them to achieve not only the perfect flavor, but also the perfect texture. "I have true control over the quantity of ingredients, sweetness, richness, and mouthfeel of each flavor," explains Shiho.

Each ice cream is really its own recipe, as opposed to flavors added to a ready-made mix. And each ingredient comes with its own challenges. "Strawberries are full of water, which turns into ice crystals, so you have to tie those up with something," notes Jeni.

Some flavors prove more difficult than others. For Malek, fish sauce caramel was especially hard: "We had a vision if we could sweeten it up, we could showcase some of those lighter, more floral flavors of the fermentation process. But you can’t just add sugar to fish sauce; as it turns out, that’s not tasty whatsoever, and we went through like 20 to 30 renditions that didn’t quite work."

The Final Arbiter: You!

And after that, it's up to the consumers — will it win a permanent spot in the line-up? "We get it out and then we get feedback," says Jeni. "Our 23 stores act as the voting booth. If a flavor does well or we’re getting social media feedback, we put it onto a list."

Not everything make the cut, as was the case with Shiho's Szechuan-inspired ice cream. "Szechuan is pungent, and since it was citrus season, I thought it would be great to pair with something bold like bergamot. I thought it turned out great, but perhaps understandably, it was not a great seller, ha!"

What flavors would you like to see become ice cream? Share with us in the comments!

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5 Easy & Affordable Ways to Trick Out Your Rental Kitchen — Trick Out Your Rental Kitchen

(Image credit: Lucy Hewett)

Over the years, I've experienced my fair share of rental kitchen frustrations, current kitchen not excluded. Faux-marble floors are just the beginning and my last kitchen? The countertop sloped (beware rolling apples).

Rental kitchen woes are real. But before you funnel your savings account into a major overhaul, or just slump down on your ugly kitchen floor and weep, consider these tips for tricking out your rental kitchen. They don't require you to be super handy or call for a huge investment, but they will make a dramatic difference.

READ MORE »

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Favorite Summer Recipes

As I was updating my favorite summer drinks list this morning, it occurred to me that a round-up of favorite summer recipes might be helpful as well. I'll keep it short, summer-friendly recipes I have a special fondness for, and revisit regularly. xo! -h

Heirloom Tomato Salad: Please give this a try - it's incredibly delicious. Particularly when tomato season is at its peak. Made with roasted and ripe tomatoes, capers, mozzarella, almonds, and chives. A+!

A Nice Berry Pie: My go-to berry pie recipe - a rye flour crust and mixed berry filling seasoned with fresh thyme leaves. It's the pie I bake most often!

Quick Pickled Zucchini: I make these coin-shaped zucchini pickles every summer. They're quick to make, great to have on hand, and I don't bother canning them. Delicious on crusty, goat-cheese slathered grilled bread (or just about anything cheesy or crunchy) and simple salads.

Fourth of July Roasted Tomato Salsa: A deliciously vibrant, earthy, and slightly smoky-tasting salsa recipe. Different from salsa fresca, the deep, caramelized flavors of the roasted tomatoes and onions alongside the smokiness of the chipotles make for a richly beautiful and balanced salsa.

TLT Sandwich (done on the grill):A vegetarian TLT sandwich inspired by the classic BLT sandwich. This version includes chipotle-marinated tempeh alongside oven-roasted cherry tomatoes, a bit of shredded lettuce, and a generous avocado slather on a thin slice (or two) of great bread.

Guacamole:My philosophy on great guacamole - you have to go off-recipe. Because, quite frankly, it's all about the in-between steps, decisions, and knowing when avocados are at their best.

Summer Berry Crisp: A favorite summer berry crisp - ripe berries cook into a thick, jammy, wine-spiked fruit sludge beneath a crispy, oat-flecked top.

Favorite Grilled Kabobs: A kabob recipe featuring grilled mushrooms, lemons, tofu red onions and a delicious red pepper walnut slather - muhammara.

Pluot Summer Salad: A pluot-based fruit salad, with toasted ginger, garlic, and shallots. It is drizzled with a simple lime soy sauce dressing, and is generously flecked with herbs - in this case, mint, basil, and cilantro.

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