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Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Blake Shelton & Gwen Stefani: Unexpected Love?


Country star Blake Shelton revealed that his current love, Gwen Stefani, was "the last person" who he expected to have his back after his divorce from Miranda Lambert. They've only been together for six months, but already he’s crazy about her. This is a great example of a couple finding love when they least expect it. Sometimes when you aren’t actively looking for it to happen is exactly when love may find you.

When you are getting over a betrayal or heartbreak, as both Blake and Gwen were after their respective marriages ended, it is hard to imagine yourself in another relationship. At that point, the last thing you want to do is take a chance and risk being wounded again by someone else. But if you can trust yourself in turning to someone who is supportive and there for you, not only can you start anew, but it’s even possible that a new romance could blossom.

It can be difficult to talk about what you’ve been through and share your pain with a friend. A lot of times people want to shut down, and are not always comfortable reaching out and asking for support. They might feel embarrassed, humiliated, or unsure about trusting that the friend won’t gossip about their story and private thoughts with someone else. However, you may find that in expressing your situation to a friend, and giving them the chance to offer empathy, you might begin to feel understood in a way that makes all the difference in the world. The tendency is to shut down when you’ve been hurt, but letting yourself remain open can become the first step in the process of healing. They’re able to see the best in you, and help bring out that side of you, so that you can move forward feeling stronger and better about yourself. This is a key element of falling in love, which is being made to feel valued, terrific about yourself, desired, and, especially on the heels of losing all that when you are dealing with a break up, it can be an elixir of the heart. In fact, Blake was quoted as saying Gwen saved his life. There is no underestimating companionship – it can feel lifesaving. 

While you may have only seen this person in one light – strictly platonic – that can shift as your circumstances and interactions with each other change. If that does happen, it can be a bonding experience and bring you together in a way that feels like a gain, where before you felt only lost and alone. With this in mind it can be positive to share your emotional pain with someone, rather than remaining closed off and keeping the heartache to yourself. It’s natural to feel vulnerable if you suddenly find yourself being drawn to this person after everything you’ve been through, but it is worth it to let the relationship go forward.

Blake and Gwen recently sang a duet together on The Voice called, “Go Ahead and Break My Heart.” Blake explained that they chose that title and the words to go with it because they are smart enough to know at this point that all relationships will have ups and downs. So why not just put it out there? They’ve been through it before, and they know there will be good and bad ahead, but right now they are so happy they found each other and they will deal with what’s ahead. While Blake and Gwen are singing about it, it is equally beneficial to talk about it. Though it can feel scary, being involved in this relationship, facing your fears and acknowledging your insecurities can actually make you stronger. While you want to protect yourself and might typically look to keeping these feelings private, if you can instead be honest and genuine with someone you feel has your back, who knows where it might lead you, maybe even to a new love.

Please tune in to the Doctor on Call radio hour on HealthyLife.net every Tuesday at 2 PM EST, 11 AM PST. First and third Tuesdays are Shrink Wrap on Call, second Tuesdays are HuffPost on Call, and the last Tuesday of the month is Let's Talk Sex! Email your questions dealing with relationships, intimacy, family, and friendships to Dr. Greer at askdrjane@drjanegreer.com.

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