Do You Need a Communications Revelation?

Source: Thanks to Effectivecommunication advice.com

Humans spend a great deal of their time communicating with each other, mostly quite well.  However there are a few simple rules to follow which will make sure that you get your message across every time and that it is well received.  Before outlining these I will list the conversation spoilers which will make sure the other person will not be receptive!  So try not to

1)  Judge, blame, criticise or take the moral high ground

2)  Put the other person down or insult them

3)  Interrupt

4)  Question excessively or use closed questions (these normally result in one word answers i.e. “Yes” or “No” and close down a conversation.

5)  Offer solutions or solve problems instead of listening or empathising.

Instead use these 7 reminders to make sure you communicate effectively and end up with solutions that suit you and your colleagues or family

1)  Choose the right time and place.  Being busy and/or tired is a no-no.

2)  Choose the right words.  Positive words will reap more rewards.  Do not be coercive or insulting.  Imagine how you would like to hear what you are saying.  If you need to criticise others make sure you criticise actions not someone’s character.

3)  Stick to the issues.  Don’t get side tracked and don’t meander through issues or nag.

4)  Use “I”.  Using I means you are taking responsibility.  Say “I think” or “I feel”.  Don’t say “You make me feel.”  No-one can make you feel anything and you give away your power if you suggest they can.

5)  Use the three-part I-You statement:  Describe the behaviour, how you feel and the effect it has.  i.e. “When you leave work unfinished….I feel let down/annoyed because I have to pick up the slack…I would prefer you to…..”

6)  Keep the other person involved.  “What do you think” or “How could we tackle this?”

7)  Make notes of what you want to achieve in advance of the conversation.  At the end check you have covered everything.

Remember communication is what keeps our relationships ticking over.  If your communication is poor the relationship will suffer and long-term will cease to exist.  Human interaction is essential to our well-being and our connection with others.  It is important, whilst bearing the points above in mind, to remember to express what you think and feel honestly and kindly,  to listen to the other person and above all to accept the other person’s feelings and opinions even when they differ from your own.  If you follow these general principles and employ patience and kindness you will not go far wrong.

from Psychology Today - Relationships http://ift.tt/1WpA67U
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